The Power of the Present Moment: How Mindfulness and ACT Help Social Anxiety Recovery

How Often Does Your Mind Drift?

How often do you notice your mind drifting away from whatever it is you’re doing?

I remember reading a study once where participants were randomly texted three questions during the day:

What are you doing?
What are you thinking about?
How are you feeling?

The results were fascinating. What people were doing and what they were thinking about only matched about half the time.

And here’s what stood out: when their mind and body were actually in the same place and doing the same thing, they reported more moments of feeling happier and more at peace.

That’s the quiet power of the present moment.
Even though it’s often misunderstood, it’s where belonging begins.

Why Presence Is Harder Than It Sounds

The mind doesn’t just wander, it time-travels.

For people living with social anxiety, this is especially true. The mind races ahead into the future, replaying every possible outcome and anticipating rejection or criticism. Or it rewinds, reliving moments that didn’t go as planned: “Why did I say that?”

Then, in the present moment, we cringe. We pull inward like an armadillo curling up in a ball of humiliation.

Yet, something powerful can happen here too, because the present moment is where we can finally make a new choice.

The Present Shapes Everything

Our past shapes how we feel right now, and what we choose now quickly becomes our past, which shapes our future.
Without presence, we end up repeating the same patterns again and again.

The present moment becomes our only chance to choose something different, to build a future that feels more aligned, more connected, more us.

It’s simple. Although simple isn’t easy.

Why Mindfulness Isn’t About Calm

Presence is often sold as peace. However, the truth is, presence isn’t always pleasant; it’s simply contact.

It’s meeting whatever is here, even if it’s uncomfortable. And that’s where healing begins.

We don’t suffer because of the past or future. We suffer because we get lost in them. The more disconnected we become from the present, the harder it is to feel grounded, connected, or like we belong in our own lives.

Presence is not about escape or avoidance. It’s about awareness. It’s about coming home.

The Present Moment in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we say the present moment is the only place life can actually happen.

It’s where we can observe our thoughts and emotions without becoming them.
It’s where we make choices aligned with our values.
And it’s where belonging, to ourselves and to others, actually occurs.

Emotional barriers often pull us away: shame, fear, regret. These emotions keep us anchored to moments that have already passed or moments that may never come. And when that happens, we miss what’s right in front of us.

The Subtle Shift of Returning

When I’m sitting with a client, I can usually tell the moment presence returns.

Maybe their shoulders drop.
Maybe their eyes soften.
Maybe there’s a small breath they didn’t realize they were holding.

That’s the shift from surviving to being.

Presence isn’t about controlling your mind; it’s about noticing it.
Noticing that your mind has wandered, and gently bringing it back again.
That gentle return is mindfulness.

And when we practice it without judgment, compassion naturally follows.
If I can notice my own wandering mind without judgment, then I can notice yours without judgment, too.

That’s how the present moment becomes a space for belonging, not through perfection, instead, through presence and connection.

The Flashlight Exercise

Sometimes I use what I call my focus flashlight in my office.

When I point it at the bookshelf, I’m focused there. I don’t have a focus problem; I can focus just fine when something’s interesting.

However, when I’m hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or just human, the flashlight drifts. Suddenly, it’s shining somewhere else.

That moment isn’t failure. It’s noticing.
And when I see that, I gently bring it back.

That gentle refocusing is the practice of presence.
Over and over again.

Belonging Happens Here

Belonging isn’t a permanent state; it’s a lived moment to be cherished.

Being here isn’t something we achieve; it’s something we practice.
The more we return, the more we remember that we were never really lost, just momentarily carried away.

So maybe the invitation isn’t to be present all the time.

Maybe it’s to be present half the time on purpose.

Because if research says our minds wander half the time, then being here intentionally for even half of that is a beautiful start.

A Practice for You

Let’s pause together for a moment.

Notice your surroundings:
The feeling of your feet on the ground.
The air on your skin.
The light in the room.

You don’t have to change a thing.
You’re not escaping your thoughts or feelings; you’re noticing them.

That’s the muscle of presence: the practice of gently returning again and again to what’s here.

And every time you return, you touch belonging, not something to earn, something you remember.

Final Thoughts

As you move through your day, choose one moment to return to on purpose.

Feel your feet on the floor.
Take one deep breath.
Look someone in the eyes and really listen.

You are here.
And even half the time is enough, because life, connection, and healing all happen here.

For Clinicians

If you’re a clinician, maybe this is a reminder that presence isn’t just a skill we teach, it’s a posture we model.

When we sit with our clients without rushing or fixing, we invite them into the same belonging we’re practicing ourselves.

And if you found this meaningful, I go deeper into how social anxiety, shame, and ACT connect in my on-demand CEU course: Master the Shame Lens — a trauma- and shame-informed approach to treatment.

Or, if you’d like to watch the Belonging Matters video series, you can watch it here on YouTube.

Take care.
—Dr. Matt Bedell, PsyD, LPC-S, LCDC
Belonging Matters